Could you be experiencing
Domestic Violence?
What is domestic violence?
Domestic abuse/intimate partner abuse can take many forms. It can be anything from abusive language, emotional control, and threatening postures, through to full-blown physical violence. None of these forms of abuse are acceptable, and the intensity of the abuse will often increase over a long period of time which can make it harder to recognize. Unfortunately, the controlling behaviour may start out subtly, but it almost always evolves into physical violence. A woman may struggle with accepting the reality of her situation, and it can be very hard to leave.
Is this you?
Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you suspect you may be in abusive relationship:
1) Do you feel afraid, intimidated, isolated or controlled by your partner?
2) Does your partner call you names, criticize you, blame you, or shame you? Do you find yourself suffering with ever-lowering self esteem, constantly apologizing, losing interest in the things you once loved doing? Maybe you’ve struggled with thoughts about taking your own life, or even wondered if everyone wouldn’t be better off without you?
3) Does your partner shove, grab, hit, or bite you? Have they forced drugs or alcohol use on you? Have they made it so you couldn’t get medical care?
Creating a safety plan:
Looking after yourself (and your children) could include creating an escape strategy.
You may not be ready to leave your partner forever, but you may be ready to get out of the house and regroup.
Creating a Safety Plan is a healthy way to try and ensure you have what you need to leave.
Some suggestions for making a good safety plan include putting together a SAFETY KIT:
Do you own a car?
Keep it full of gas and facing outwards to the road for easy exit. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and the other doors locked.
Put aside extras.
Put in extra clothes, diapers and medications for you and the kids.
Have cash set aside.
Have cash set aside to cover emergency costs like travel and hotels. Include this in your safety kit.
Keep emergency numbers handy.
· Keep a list of emergency numbers like hospitals, police, domestic hotlines.
Keep one or more people informed.
Keep one or more people informed about your personal situation. These should be people you know you can trust with your safety should you have to leave your domestic situation quickly.
Keep copies of all personal documents.
Keep copies of all personal documents for you and your children.
For example: birth certificate(s), passport(s), health card(s), driver’s licence, copy of lease or deed to the house, extra car keys and house keys and any other relevant documents like car ownership/registration/loan documents, landed Immigrant status, resident card. Have these items already packed and hidden away somewhere safe like at a neighbour’s or a friend’s place.
During an abusive situation, try and escape as soon as you can.
Have a special word or phrase to use with the kids so they know to leave or hide when you use the special word. Practice this procedure with them when things are quiet so they understand what to do before the next situation arises. Do not let your children try to intervene on your behalf- make sure they understand that the abuser could turn on them.
When you try to escape, chose the easiest way to get out of the house. Don’t get stuck in the kitchen where your abuser can grab sharp objects. If guns are stored in the house, keep away from those areas. Leave out the closest door that leads to the road or the front of the house where people are more likely to see you and help. Run to the safety of a neighbour’s house and call 911.
Get help from Domestic Violence Organizations
Provincial and Territorial Crisis Lines:
Alberta:
Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters: 1-866-331-3933
Family Violence Info Line: 780-310-1818
Abuse helpline: 1-855-4HELPAB (1-855-443-5722)
Child abuse hotline: 1-800-387-KIDS (1-800-387-5437)
New Brunswick:
Women’s Equality: Violence Prevention and Community Partnerships: 506-453-8126/ Tool free at 1-877-253-0266
Women in Transition House Inc.: 506-459-2300 / text: 506-260-9297
British Columbia:
VictimLink BC: 1-800-563-0808 /TTY 604-875-0885 / text: 1-800-563-0808
HealthLink BC at 811 or 711 who are deaf or hard of hearing
Battered Women’s Support Services (BWSS) crisis line: 604-652-1867 / Toll free at 855-687-1868
Manitoba:
Province-wide family violence helpline: 1-877-977-0007 / TTY 1-888-987-2829
Manitoba Advocate for Children and Youth: 1-800-263-7146
Canadian Centre for Child Protection: 204-945-5735/ 1-800-532-9135
Newfoundland & Labrador:
Domestic Violence Help Line: 1-888-709-7090
The Women’s Centre: 709-753-0220
Nova Scotia:
Crisis services available by call or text: 211/ Toll free: 1-855-466-4994
Provincial Domestic Violence Line: 1-855-225-0220
Quebec:
SOS violence conjugale: 1-800-363-9010
Your neighbourhood CLSC: 811
CAVA: Central Montreal (Metro Beaubien) Phone: 514-277-9860 / Eastern Montreal (Metro Cadillac) Phone: 514-645-9333 Western Montreal (Metro Du College) Phone: 514-744-5048
Ontario:
Assaulted Women’s Helpline (available in more than 100 different languages including 17 Aboriginal languages): 1-866-863-0511/ TTY 1-866-863-7868
Fem’aide: toll-free: 1-877-336-2433 /TTY: 1-866-860-7082
Talk4Healing- 24/7, crisis counselling, advice and support for Indigenous women and their families. Support is available in English, Ojibway, Oji-Cree and Cree: Toll-free 1-855-554-4325 (1-855-554-HEAL)
Anishnaabe Kwewag Gamig Northern Ontario First Nations crisis line: 1-800-388-5171
Nunavut:
Baffin Regional Agvvik Society- Qimaavik Transition House (Iqualuit) 24/7 crisis line, in both English and Inuktitut: 867-979-4500
Cambridge Bay, St. Michael’s Crisis Centre: 867-983-5232
Kugaaruk Family Violence Centre: 867-769-6100.
Kugluktuk Women’s Crisis Centre: 867-982-3210
Rankin Inlet, Kataujaq Society Shelter: 867-645-2214
If there is no Family Violence Shelter where you live, your Community Social Services Worker or Community Justice Outreach Worker will go with you to the nearest place of safety.
Please note the numbers here do follow the usual 1-800 format. They do not need to use it up there.
Northwest Territories:
NWT Help Line: 1-866-223-7775
YWCA -Toll free at 1-866-223-7775/ 1-867-873-8257 in Yellowknife
Prince Edward Island:
Island Help Line: 1-800-218-2885
PEI Family Violence Prevention Services: 1-800-240-9894 / Charlottetown: 902-892-0960/ West Prince: 902-859-8849/ East Prince: 902-436-0157/ Eastern PEI: 902-838-0795/ Queens County: 902-566-1480
Saskatchewan:
Abused Women’s Crisis Line: 1-888-338-0880
North East Crisis Line: 1-800-611-6349 or 1-800-668-6868
YMCA Regina Isabel Johnson Shelter: 306-525-2141
Saskatoon Interval House: 1-888-338-0880
Yukon:
VictimLink BC: 1-800-563-0808 / TTY 604-875-0885 / Text 604-836-6381
Betty’s Haven (Whitehorse): 867-633-7720 / Crisis Line: 867-668-5733
Dawson City Women’s Shelter: 867-993-5086
Help and Hope For Families (Watson Lake): 867-536-7233
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